Doubt
by Teaismyqueen
Summary: A drabble about how Henry may of felt when the article dropped about Elizabeth and Conrad. This will be continued I'm sure. maybe from Elizabeth's side as well.
1. Chapter 1

Henry's POV

Henry McCord watched his feet as he strode through The White House corridors, he couldn't bare to lift his eyes from the floor. He was scared, no apprehensive even, at what the reception would be from his work colleagues. He felt as though a huge storm cloud of emotion was above his head raining its crap down onto him.

He let out a huge exasperated sigh when he closed his office door. No one said good morning to him and he felt as though every single person fell silent as he approached. It angered him… Feeling the frustration flow through his veins he shook his hands out attempting to dispel some of the alien emotion from his body.

_Come on McCord, you know it's not true. You have been through worse together, she wouldn't have done that. _Taking 5 deep breaths Henry repeated this same matra as he had on the car ride over here, as he fell into a troubled sleep last night and as he got ready this morning. He knew deep down that this rumor couldn't be true, however deep in the pit of his brain, under all the dusty crap, there was a small but deadly seed of doubt and he couldn't help but allow it to take root within him.

He pushed through his morning work, ploughed head first into reviews, reports and read the news briefs that came through to his inbox. As he scanned the latest reports on in house farming Elizabeth's picture caught his eye on the bar at the top of the page.

_**White House Affair - The Spy who loved me.**_

Henry huffed, a pang of annoyance shot through him and he felt frustration rise once again. He was a little shocked at how quickly someone had come out with a slanderous article. Elizabeth hadn't even officially announced yet and someone had already tried to drag her through the mud. He thought about what Elizabeth had said to him "Just don't read it, keep away from it. Please" He remembered how her hand had felt on his arm and the way she squeezed it ever so gently as she spoke to him late last night. The way her eyes filled a little which made the blue shimmer in the dim light of their bedroom, the unfallen tears pooled dangerously close to falling. His heart broke for her and he felt annoyance at himself on top of everything else. _How could I doubt her? But there must be some embers still burning to cause this smoke…_

Hovering the mouse over her name Henry felt disappointment wash through him as he clicked on the link and brought up the article. All thoughts of work and his surroundings left his brain and he was just a husband having to muddle his way through cheating allegations on an epic scale. His eyes scanned the article and it was mostly speculations that warranted no real evidence. Henry needed to speak with someone that was there at the time and he thought about Isabelle. Elizabeth had mentioned that they used to laugh about the rumors together and Isabelle was direct and truthful. _I can trust her… _

A snap decision and he had his office phone clasped in his hand and was calling his secretary to cancel his afternoon meetings. He then rang Isabelle before he second guessed his actions. _I need to know one way or another. I can't not. _As the call connected Henry fiddled with his wedding band that had been in place for more than a quarter of a century, a simple symbol of their love and commitment. _It's not true Henry. _

...

Henry sat in the restaurant feeling a little uncomfortable. The noise of the other patrons drowned out the constant pounding of his heart. He felt as though he was cheating on Elizabeth's trust just by sitting here waiting for Isabelle. He knew that he was in the wrong being here and in that moment he realised that the rumours weren't true. Henry was about to leave when Isabelle finally showed. Henry decided he would use this lunch to see if she knew who could have come forward with the rumours. Taking a deep breath he threw himself into the standard pleasantries and attempted to read a trained spy.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Elizabeth sat at her desk nearly picking up the phone to call Henry, her hand shooting out towards the phone and then back again. The article had come out today and she had attempted to let it fall to the back of her mind and she had successfully achieved it except every time her wedding ring caught her eye it brought the article to the forefront of her mind.

She felt angry at the situation she found herself in and Mike was unfortunately receiving the brunt of her annoyance for not letting her make a public statement. She wanted America to know how ridiculous the whole thing was. She wanted people to know how much she loved her husband, how much she cherished him and how much respect she had for their union. Elizabeth thought back to last night in bed. Henry was a little distant with her, his eyes not ever locking with hers, never engaging in her wanderings and as she pondered her predicament he didn't even attempt to Socratic method her. Thinking back on the brief pillow talk they had engaged in she cringed knowing she had missed the signs of a man needing some reassurance.

She knew the affair hadn't happened. It was ridiculous to think that it had and she was sure of hers and Henry's relationship. The bond they had built and shared was strong and the foundations were so solid that she slightly overlooked the fact Henry just maybe needed his wife to reassure him if only once but she hadn't. She reached for the phone on her desk again and went to dial Henry's office number when Kat knocked and entered her office with news of a troubling document. She placed the phone back in its cradle and vowed to herself that she would speak to him tonight when she got back.

Knowing she would probably back out and thinking about how he deserved some reaction from her, she held up a hand towards Kat and picked the phone up quickly to dial his office number. As she waited for the call to connect she formulated what she was going to say. She would tell him she wanted a bit of time to talk just the two of them tonight but his direct office number just rang and rang before diverting to his secretary Richard.

"Oh, Richard. Hi, it's Elizabeth. Is Henry not around?" Elizabeth glanced up at Kat and apologetically mouthed sorry.

"Hello, Madam Secretary. No I'm sorry he asked me to rearrange his afternoon. He went out about an hour ago. I could put you through to his mobile?"

"No, it's OK. Any idea where he went?" Elizabeth cringed as the words fell from her mouth. She was completely thrown off her game, she wouldn't normally ask but this was unusual for Henry.

"No I'm sorry ma'am. I can get him to call you when he is back"

"Not necessary, I'll talk to him tonight. Goodbye"

….

Elizabeth felt exhausted by the end of her day. The sky was dark signalling how late it was when she finally left the state department. She hadn't heard from Henry all day, no texts, no phone calls, nothing. Once she climbed into her car her head fell back against the seat and she let her eyes slip closed. Henry was sensitive and she loved that about him. She knew that he must have been stewing on this all day and wondered if he had read the article. She decided that he probably had and her heart broke a little. She knew how words on a page made it seem so real. Something printed in black and white had the almighty power of truth, the power to unite people or divide millions depending on their beliefs.

Elizabeth let herself think back over her day attempting to forget Henry just for a moment. Her staff had been odd all day, never quite meeting her eye, always scurrying away when work conversations had come to a close. She knew they felt awkward, by not addressing this ridiculous rumor it had caused her work colleagues to doubt her loyalties too. She felt a flash of heat as anger surged through her body, her hands clenching into balls by her side. _Who was this insular person that had caused her so much upheaval with one stupid rumor. _

Before she knew it the car had come to a stop and the door opened for her. Wishing her team goodnight she felt nervous going into her own home. This was only the second time she had ever felt like that here, the first being when she thought Henry was having an affair. Elizabeth shuddered a little as thoughts swirled in her mind about that awful few hours where she had doubted him. And realisation struck her. _He's felt like this all day. _

Closing the door behind her and ridding herself of her bags and coat she tentatively called out for him. A little afraid that he wouldn't be here, she couldn't bare it if that were the case. Her heart thrummed in her chest as silence returned her call. Elizabeth pushed herself towards the kitchen as her stomach reminded her to eat and that's when she saw him sitting at the table. The room was darker than usual and it felt cold. The hustle and bustle of family life was starting to diminish, almost like it was abnormal for them all to be in the same place. Elizabeth felt the ache for the past deep inside her and she greeted Henry again. His eyes met hers and she felt broken as she looked at him but for the sake of normality and comfort she carried on as if nothing was wrong. But Elizabeth knew her husband and could see it in his eyes.

_How could he think I would do that to him… To us? _She swallowed thickly, trying to push the feeling of nausea down into the depths of her. _I've never ever been tempted. Especially in Iraq. _Elizabeth's hands moved over her body and up across her face before running her fingers through her hair. Almost trying to remove the remnants of sand she still felt were there, ingrained in her skin. Her mind wandered back to when she first learned of the affair article. She found it almost comical that anyone would believe it but as soon as she noticed the pang of hurt and _doubt _in Henry's eyes it was like someone had stabbed her through the heart with an icicle.

Elizabeth set about making herself some leftovers, something that Henry would usually do, when the conversation that she had been dreading started.


	3. Chapter 3

By the time Elizabeth had said goodbye to Mike and Jay, she felt completely exhausted. She climbed the stairs slowly, wincing a little as her muscles burnt with the effort she was putting on them. Her burning legs carried her up even though they felt like they weighed a ton. Elizabeth felt a little dizzy almost as though she was on a roller-coaster, she just needed a big pause button on her life. On any other night, being asked to run as a Republican would have deserved a conversation or at least a moment to think about it. But tonight wasn't a night like that. Henry and her were interrupted by the Governor as they were in a heated discussion. As she finally plodded up to the top of the stairs she paused before she walked to their bedroom door.

Elizabeth felt so angry with Henry. She gritted her teeth a little as she stood there, in the hallway trying to calm herself down. He involved Isabelle. However hard she tried she couldn't forget that. How dare he call her up and ask her for clarification. I'm his wife he should have asked me. That's when it hit her, like a ton of bricks falling on top of her, she hadn't provided any reassurance to him. Not one word. She had just kept thinking about the campaign and how this article would affect her.

They had a lot to talk about and she felt a new sense of energy which moved her forwards to Henry. She entered the darkened room, it was late but she was surprised to find Henry in bed. Standing in the dark room the whole day suddenly hit her like a tidal wave and the stress bubbled out in the form of tears. Elizabeth was shocked to feel the salty water stream down her face as she let out an almighty sob.

Henry laid in bed waiting for her to come up. He gave up thinking that they would get to finish their conversation and layed stewing in the dark. He had attempted to read but his eyes just seemed to skim the black shapes on the page, not really taking anything in at all. Not like that damn article that seemed to be etched into the back of his eyes. He heard her pause in the hallway before entering and that's when he heard her sob. Sitting upright and throwing the covers off him he leapt across the room towards her. Standing in the dark before him she looked so small, her tiny frame moving with each gut wrenching cry.

"I didn't do it Henry." she said clearly. "I couldn't even imagine it, it hurts here" her voice broke as she held her hand over her chest. "You have to believe me" she concluded.

"Oh, god knows I do. I always knew deep down in my soul that it wasn't true" he closed the distance between them and captured her lips swiftly. The salt from her fresh tears felt wet against his cheek. Henry moved his thumbs across her face as they kissed, wiping the rest of the tears away.

Elizabeth and Henry moved their bodies against each other almost trying to mould themselves together so nothing could come between them. Elizabeth moved her hands around his frame and up to his neck holding him in place. She groaned as his hands wrapped around her waist pulling her even closer. Her centre pulsed for him when she felt him squeeze her waist before slipping up inside her silk shirt to feel her skin against his palm.

Hearts racing, arousal growing, they pulled apart breathless and craving more. Through hooded eyes they both understood that they needed to talk first. Henry grasped her hand and pulled her towards the bed but she pulled him in the other direction towards the window seat.

"I like the light" she simply said as they settled into the space there. Sitting opposite each other they suddenly felt the silence weighing down on them. It had been a while since tensions between them had been this bad and after the last time they refused to let it go on as long. So they began talking at the same time.

Laughing Henry said gently "You go"

Elizabeth took a deep breath in and held it, wondering where to start "I'm sorry Henry, I'm sorry I overlooked you." the words seemed to flow so she continued, not pausing for breath "It's just that this article is just ridiculous rumors and I know it didn't happen so, I just assumed you would think the same and not give it any credit. Today has been exhausting, with work and this stupid campaign I feel like saying leave my family out of it, it's not fair." As she spoke she watched Henry's face, his eyes kind and comforting. It was the same face that had listened to her for over 25 years and she felt a wave of love surge through her. She reached forward to hold his hand in hers, feeling his fingers move between hers she continued "I have to say this though and let me just get it over and done with. I felt so angry at you earlier, I couldn't quite fathom why you involved Isabelle in this. She has nothing to do with it and then it dawned on me just now. I hadn't provided you with the explanation you needed. This has highlighted to me that you and the kids are still my number one. I need to make sure that whatever happens I need to check in with you…"

"I'm sorry babe, I completely spiralled after reading that article. I know Mike said not to read it but I just couldn't help it… It was on my mind the whole day… Just wondering what everyone was thinking about me was hard and unexpected actually." Elizabeth watched as his eyes dropped slightly before meeting hers again. Before continuing he bought her hand to his lips and gently kissed her wedding finger. "No one said good morning and some couldn't look at me in the eye. I guess they were afraid of approaching me"

"Oh, Henry. That is unfair on you" her heart felt heavy in her chest for him.

"I wasn't thinking when I called Isabelle. I just needed to hear someone tell me that it wasn't true and that the rumors were completely unfounded but she didn't come across that way." he paused as he decided how to proceed.

Elizabeth took this pause as chance for her to question him about what she said "I can't speak for her babe, you are going to have to talk to her. But she denied ever hearing the rumors personally because she was your friend and she implied that people must have seen something"

"What?"

"I know… in my opinion she wasn't overly supportive of you but as I said maybe she is just jealous of your position now"

"No, that's not it. That's not Isabelle. Not the Isabelle I used to know"

"I know. It was weird" Henry exhaled loudly and motioned for Elizabeth to come and cuddle into him. She moved across the seat and allowed him to wrap her in his arms. "Hey I'm sorry for ever doubting your loyalty to me. It was stupid and I know it but it just got to me and I'm not sure why"

The deep rumble in his chest felt reassuring to Elizabeth who had placed her cheek against his chest, listening to the constant beat of his heart. "I'm sorry too Henry. I love you."

"I love you Elizabeth, with all of my heart, my soul and my body"

She leant her head upwards, her tongue moistening her lips making them shine in the streetlight. Henry leant forwards and gently placed his lips to hers unsure on how far she would want to take things. It was late and she had to be up and out early however, she seemed to be responding passionately. Her tongue met his and they worked together alighting a fire within them. "Let me love you with my body Henry" she panted softly into the still night air.

"Always"

They both moved off the window seat and towards the bed melting together discarding clothes as they went together into the darkness as one.

The end


End file.
